Standing at the sink all I can think to myself is “this makes sense.” When everything is crazy hectic, the dishes make sense. They are dirty so they need to be cleaned. We have a set amount of dishes; they need to be ready to go for the next night, so into the sink they go. You can only fit so many bowls, cups and silverware in your dishwasher, so once you are at your max, you know you’re done (unless you hand wash the rest). My mind has been going all over the place lately; when the water finally gets hot enough to actually clean I can just let myself be calm and think about nothing else.
I’ve been sick for a week now. Typically, this wouldn’t be a big deal except it wasn’t a simple cold or allergies. The doctor said that it was a respiratory infection but gave me medicine for walking pneumonia “just in case.” I’m glad I got the “just in case” medicine because even the pneumonia medicine doesn’t feel like it is doing a ton. Let me clarify… I’m a lot better than I was… but I still can’t smell anything, my body is super achy, one ear feels like I’m under water and I’m an involuntary mouth breather. This is my version of better; if that gives you, any insight into how much of a hot mess I’ve been.
I did learn the hard way that nothing stops because you’re a sick parent. Literally nothing.
The baby is crying and climbing at you trying to get you to pick her up. She just wants love but you can barely hold your head up. Your husband wants to know why the dishes you said you’d clean so he wouldn’t have to do them are still in the sink… oh those sweet calming dishes. You didn’t get to them because you felt like a semi ran you over. Your voice is almost completely gone but people want to have calls with you at work. Luckily, no one wants to try to have a phone call with someone whose voice is going out so IM’s and “next week” it is. You try to go to work mid-week and everyone keeps telling you how awful you sound. You resign to working from home for the rest of the week to try to feel better (and not infect people) but instead you just feel behind. The weekend comes and it is full of chores and errands.
But wait, it’s Sunday evening and there is a pile of sweet calming dishes. The sound of “we can do that in the morning” from your husband is quickly dismissed as you insist that you’ll do them. The calm of the hot water, the scrubbing, the Tetris-style placing of the bowls all comes together to form this beautiful release.