I just had to do something I swore I would never do… use a cloth napkin as a tissue. I know, I’m gross but I didn’t have a choice. Let me explain how this came to happen…
P is climbing on me coughing in my face but I love her cute cheeks and so I let her. She chews on her hands and then rubs them on my face trying to stick them in my mouth. It’s when she is being the cutest that I slip up and let her stick her sick germs in my mouth or near my face. This was on Monday, a day I had taken off to relax and get ready for upcoming travel starting on Tuesday. Monday my nose starts running and I’m not feeling so hot but eh I shrug it off thinking it’s allergies. Then when I’m sitting in the airport at the butt crack of dawn I realize I have her cold. I’m hoping that it’s a 24 hour thing and that it goes away before my first session, I wasn’t that lucky.
Today was a “feel like you’re drowning” kind of day. There wasn’t anything specific that made me feel this way and nothing terrible happened but it just had that feeling. I’m being self-conscious about the amount of weight I pull around the house and feeling guilty that I took a day to work from home last week to go to doctor’s appointments that I was overdue on. I’m heading out again for work and I know that husband and P will be alone again to face the daily grind down one person. Husband is always supportive but I feel like both worlds just come crashing into each other. I know I’m not two separate people but I feel like when I get home I’m different. At work, I can be decisive, act on instinct and speak in front of tons of people with authority. At home, I feel like a bumbling mess who forgot to switch P’s clothes to the drier and is hoping they don’t get that mildew smell.
I read a post the other day where the mom described her baby laying on her chest as two puzzle pieces fitting together. That’s how I feel when P is sick and she rubs her snot and slobber all over my shirt and then falls asleep drooling on me. She’s sick again with a stomach bug which means we have been in cleaning mode to keep up with her. My husband is also sick so it’s bedtime at 7:30 PM for all of us tonight. I’m sure she will be up at 10 ready to play and eat and I’ll be wishing I had just stayed awake. I came home from work to take her to her appointment because my husband was feeling terrible. I was working at the table in the kitchen with her on my lap (wouldn’t stop crying if I wasn’t holding her) and she fell asleep sitting there, head on my chest with me typing away.
This post is for the parents who won’t let their kids attend sexual education and won’t teach their kids anything besides abstinence. I know it’s a very specific targeted group of folks but they should definitely read what I have to say.
A woman is standing at the front of the room with a knit scarf that has a large breast on each end. There are baby dolls lying on tables in front of each couple and 70+ PowerPoint slides covered in text from top to bottom that are meticulously read instead of just a couple of bullet points… this was our version of hell.
My husband and I are preparers, we like to have things ready to go and know exactly what is going to happen. That is how we found ourselves listening to a lady with a monotone voice go over how to properly massage the nipple at 8pm on a weekday. Friends of ours had opted to take the parenting course that was covered all on a Saturday but we didn’t want to give up our time for that so we opted into the once a week for four weeks course. Everything about the course up until the last one on breastfeeding had been great and not as awkward. Then this lady happened…