I hate to admit that I was a terrible partner but I absolutely was. It’s embarrassing to say that for the first several years we were together my husband did 90% of the housework and cooking. I had a lot of baggage that made me believe that if I cooked/cleaned that I was subservient to my boyfriend/husband. I just couldn’t get it through my thick and selfish head that I needed to do my part. I didn’t want to be like my biological mother and I was so stubborn that I didn’t see the difference.
One day it finally sank in and I realized that chores weren’t a way to put someone in their place. It really was as my husband had been saying all along; they were just “things that had to get done.” Once I got over my baggage and selfishness, we started doing all of our chores together. I’m very blessed that he was patient with my nonsense. This is when a completely different issue popped up. He had his way of doing things and what all needed to be done but I didn’t.
I watched video after video and read blog after blog trying to find the perfect way to resolve the chore issue. Everything I saw was for the stay-at-home wife who would do everything during the day and have their husband pitch-in when he was off. We both have careers and not a lot of time to during the week, so that option went straight out the window. I racked my brain until I finally came up with our solution… Chore Cards.
These cards would tell us each day what needed to be done, we could check them off and re-use them every week.
Here are the instructions I followed to create them:
- Index Cards
- Permanent Marker
- Laminate Sheets
- Binder Rings
- Dry Erase Marker
- List of Chores
- Hole Punch
- Put together a list of all the chores you want to get done
- Divide the tasks up between:
- Each day Sunday-Saturday
- Daily Tasks
- Monthly Tasks
- With the permanent marker, write the days of the week, “Daily” and “Monthly” at the top of a card. You’ll need 9 cards to create all of them.
- Write the tasks you divided into the different days on the corresponding card
- Use the laminate sheet and cover each of the cards
- Cut the laminate sheet down to the card size
- Punch a hole in the upper right-hand corner
- Arrange all of the cards in order and clip together with a binder ring
- Every day look at your list for the day and complete those tasks
- Once the task is done use the whiteboard marker to cross it off
- Be aware of what can and can’t be done on specific days. If you have less time on a certain night, you don’t want it to be the night with the most tasks.
- Keep the list in a place that you are always going to see it. We keep a whiteboard calendar in our breakfast nook, which is right next to the kitchen. We pin it to the board so we always see it.
- On Sunday, wipe off all of the days so you start fresh.
- The laminate sheets don’t come in a size that is small enough for the cards so you will need to cut them down.
My Husbands Take:
It’s been super helpful because your weekend isn’t absorbed with just chores, which no one wants. It’s broken up and simple which helps. You realize that you do have the time to get it all done. You lose 10 minutes of sitting on your ass Monday night but you free up your entire weekend.
The one caveat is that it needs constant revision. (We changed it up after the first week because some of it didn’t need to be done every week.)
Are you the perfect wife now?
The answer to this question is, definitely not. I’m sure there is a ton I could do to be a better wife and I’m always working on improving. I will say that the chores have definitely become a partner activity. I love being able to come home, look at what needs to be done and knock it out before he gets there. There are still days where we can’t get everything done but we just move those items to the next day. Our ultimate goal is to not spend our weekend trying to get a week’s worth of chores done in two days.