Baby P has started to chew on everything and the pediatrician said she has little nubs in her gums so she could be teething already. It is the most adorable and gross thing you’ll ever see a little baby do besides a blow-out (which is mainly gross but sometimes cute). Everything is covered in spit and she is so happy holding a little butterfly toy in her hands listening to it crunch when she bites down. These moments make it hard to remember the first month of my husband and I sleeping in shifts to stay up with her so she wouldn’t scream all night. It almost makes the sleepless nights and agonizing days of bouncing, screams, frustration and piles of diapers seem like a distant memory.
Tonight my husband mentioned having another baby because she is so cute. How could we not want another? There is part of me that would love to have two little ones snuggling and holding each hand but another part of me that doesn’t know how we could survive the last 4 months over again with an added infant.
I see moms on Facebook and YouTube who have five or six kids, homeschool them, make their own detergent and so on. They seem to have it all together but I know that behind the scenes are screaming, crying, and tantrum throwing children who need attention, time and love. Love I think I could give out until there was nothing left of me, but the attention and time is a different story.
I’ve worked very hard to get where I am in my career and to be with a company that treats me well and cares about family. Those months I was home with baby P were some of the hardest months of my life. Waking up at the crack of dawn to do nothing more than feed her and then rock her until she falls asleep while watching Sophia the First on Netflix for the thousandth time is not my ideal morning. I would try to get out with her and take her to the park but you can’t go to the park every day (though I tried). Some days she just didn’t want to do anything but be upset and sleep and you know what? So did I.
I really have to hand it to stay at home moms. They are serious badasses for waking up every day and taking care of the home, the meals, the bills, the kids, themselves, the chores and so much more. I know I can’t be the only working mom who feels like work is where you feel like you are in your element. Kicking butt in a meeting, rocking a blazer and heels while presenting something you’ve worked on for several weeks, it is such an empowering feeling. It isn’t for everyone just like being a stay at home mom isn’t for everyone. But you know what… both are working hard to raise productive little people who will go out into the world one day and make their choice of working or staying at home.
This is a topic I didn’t fully understand until I had my own child so I’m definitely going to come back to it again.