I didn’t fully understand what giving up my “me” time meant before the baby came. I knew there would be cuddles and she would want our attention but I didn’t truly get it. You have to hold them for a really long time, they fuss and want you to hold them, they want you to rock them and feed them and never be out of their eyesight. My husband insisted that I take a shower when I was home alone with her. He would say, “put her in her pack n’ play, she’ll be fine.” At first, I didn’t believe him because she would scream like she was being attacked. This led to many instances of thrown open shower doors, water all over the floor from shower to pack n’ play and a baby being picked up by a soaking wet lunatic. In all the times of throwing open the door and running to pick her up she never had any real issues besides being hungry or a wet booty. I’m thankful that she was always fine and was just needy.
I look back and it took me a little while but I eventually let her cry while I showered. She would be so happy to see me when I was done that it was as if she had never thrown a fit in the first place (unless she was hungry… then she was still angry). It has only been four months but you learn so much in such a short period of time because you have to. There is a new little person who relies solely on you and your partner to take care of them, raise them and teach them how to be a person.
I can admit that I’m a selfish person. I was the wife (and still sometimes am) that would ask my husband to fill my glass with water because it was empty. I would suggest leaving all of the dishes until the next day because they can wait. The list could go on and on of times where I didn’t want to do something at home and either waited until it needed to be done or my husband did it. After the baby came, though I was home by myself with her. I was cooking, cleaning, feeding her, changing her, taking care of everything on my own. I got my own glass of water when I had a spare moment in between making sure she was full. I did the dishes because I wanted the kitchen to be clean and because she needed clean bottles to be able to eat.
People say that everything changes when you have kids but they don’t tell you the positive that comes along with it. I’m motivated to do better every day to show my daughter that we can do whatever we want to do. I give 110% at my job and at home because both are important to me unlike before where my job received a majority of my attention. I get off my butt and do what needs to be done because people rely on me. There is no other feeling like seeing a happy baby smile up at you in a clean onesie, sucking down a bottle in your clean-ish living room after a long day of work. But then again… if someone had tried to explain to me how special of a moment that is I don’t think I would have believed them.