I’ve been feeling really emotional over the past week. It might have to do with baby P having more of a personality lately resulting in me missing her even more. She snuggles now and looks up at you with a sly smile because she is drooling milk all over your shirt. Today she was chewing on my leg in an attempt to help her aching teeth. It doesn’t hurt and I don’t believe she is going to learn to bite people based on gnawing on my leg at five months old (I could be raising a vampire, who knows). Right now, she is wailing from her bed because her little nubs of teeth are trying to break through. My amazing husband is giving her baby Tylenol to try to help her.
We got all of our chores done early today and decided to head to bed at 9pm so we could get some extra sleep but baby P has other plans. Usually 9pm is when she is clinging to her chewy while lying face down on her play mat half asleep. The mommy part of my brain is saying she just needs cuddles but I know she is fussing because we either let her sleep too much or too little today. Her cries are starting to fade a little as she yells at the wall. It’s her typical I’m sleepy but I don’t want to go to sleep yell. Cries mixed with rubbing of her eyes, fading cries and deep breaths in to start crying again. Eventually she will lay her head down and sleep but for now, we let her yell until she admits defeat.
I know that as time passes she will get bigger and smarter but it’s both a joy and heartbreaking to see how quickly she grows. People who don’t see her for a month are amazed at how much she has changed. She is already teething and trying to crawl when it feels like just yesterday we were excited that she was holding her head straight. I had a dream that my husband opened the bedroom door and she ran in showing me that she could run. Maybe that is where all of this emotion is coming from. I want her to grow and be happy I just never took the “they grow up so fast” literally until now. She can’t even crawl yet and I’m already being a sissy about it.
She finally nodded off and her snores are louder than the sound machine (she gets that from her dad). So precious and small but packed with so much joy, potential and love. I’m definitely going to be the mom who cries dropping their kid off at the first day of school.