Sometimes Things Are Hard

Today was a “feel like you’re drowning” kind of day. There wasn’t anything specific that made me feel this way and nothing terrible happened but it just had that feeling. I’m being self-conscious about the amount of weight I pull around the house and feeling guilty that I took a day to work from home last week to go to doctor’s appointments that I was overdue on. I’m heading out again for work and I know that husband and P will be alone again to face the daily grind down one person. Husband is always supportive but I feel like both worlds just come crashing into each other. I know I’m not two separate people but I feel like when I get home I’m different. At work, I can be decisive, act on instinct and speak in front of tons of people with authority. At home, I feel like a bumbling mess who forgot to switch P’s clothes to the drier and is hoping they don’t get that mildew smell.

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I’m A Judging Mom

When you think about what a good parent is, you have such a large frame of reference for “good parenting.” There are magazines, blogs, shows specifically to show how shitty parents can be, news articles and Facebook groups that hand down judgement as if they were Saint Peter himself. When our parents were growing up, they just had what they were taught by their parents, wholesome television shows and maybe a book on parenting.

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