I’m Not a Shitty Friend, I’m Just a Mom

All day today, a friend of mine has been trying to get me on the phone. I’m usually not the type to avoid a conversation but the times she wanted to chat I was knee deep in grocery shopping, driving, cleaning, putting away laundry, putting baby P down or feeding baby P. I felt awful and kept telling her, “sorry can’t talk at xyz” but I can text if you want. All I could think to myself was ‘I’m not a terrible person, I’m just a mom.”

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Not Giving In

This morning I had to motivate myself to get out of bed. My daughter and husband are both sick and I’ve been sick for a little while now but I am well enough to go to work (and not contagious). My alarm went off several times and each time I turned it off then set another for ten minutes, fifteen minutes, twenty minutes out. This routine started at 5:30 and didn’t end until 7:40. At 7:40, I started telling myself in my head “get up! Get out of this bed!” but it was so hard. It was cold, my husband was snoring all night because he is sick, the baby snoring and making loud sick noises and my being sick kept me up off and on all night. This morning my body was almost at its breaking point of saying “pick another day, this one is not it.”

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Bloody Noses and Not Being Perfect

Last night was really difficult, husband had the iPad on so the light was in my eyes and with my allergies I then had a headache, the baby was up and down all night and then when I finally went to sleep the baby was up again. Then like a knight in shining pajama armor my husband went to go get her and wakes me up to the fact that there is blood all in her bed and on her face.

She has been sick for a while now with a cold and allergies. She’s been so snotty that we haven’t even thought about turning on the humidifier because she didn’t have a dry nose, she had a faucet. Then this morning my husband says there is blood everywhere and her nose is bleeding. I don’t think I could have shot out of the bed quicker.

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